Lesleaf in a Tree

Have you ever just been minding your own business, when someone from your past suddenly pops up on MSN and is all chatty?

Its so weird...wtf.

That is all. Inarticulation has struck me.

Check out this website for the reasoning behind the video: physicsworld.com/blog/2009/10/sciences_answer_to_the_backstr.html

( Warning: This is a very long, self-serving and frivolous post. I will forgive you if you ignore it.  )

My fun task for today is to start thinking of things to do for 8 hours in LAX while waiting between flights. Hehe.

Oh...and my non fun task is finishing my final essay. :)

At the start of today my dissertation was 16,477.

Now it is 15,349.

I am still 349 words over the limit. I have spent 6 and a half hours working on this thing today.

Can't I just lie and put...14,965 on the cover sheet, or something?

Usually I don't hold on to the criticism I receive about my academic work, because most of the time I wouldn't consider it to be related to a personal defect or something that I just forgot to consider. However, I got an essay back about four weeks ago now, and something that my tutor wrote on it has really stuck with me, and I don't know what to make of it. He said I suffer from "intellectual naivety." It just sounds like something that can't be overcome, and it has really bothered me.

Maybe its because the man who wrote it is a highly respected and accredited historian.

Thought you guys might like to see what I'm working on...this is the last paragraph of my introduction of my thesis, which is tentatively titled "Masculinity in Icelandic Sagas."

The analysis in this thesis focuses on a number of themes from Njal’s Saga, Egil’s Saga, and Gisli’s Saga and how the male characters in the sagas, as representatives but not exact replicas of Icelandic society, functioned within these themes to achieve masculinity. Given the existing literature, the purpose of this dissertation is to fill in the gap which exists whereby men are largely ignored as gendered in a comprehensive discussion. Chapter One will discuss how Icelandic society functioned in the medieval period, followed by an analysis of how the sagas can be interpreted as source material indicative of Icelandic society. The rest of the discussion will focus on the major themes of the sagas to discover the different perspectives on masculinity presented. Age and insults will be discussed in Chapter Two as themes which present constraints to men in achieving masculinity, and will also demonstrate the ways men could fall into the ‘rainbow coalition’. Marriage and the family form the focus of Chapter Three, and are indicative of the importance of kin relationships which emerges in the sagas. Chapter Four discusses possessions and pursuits, and looks at how the property of men, both in the form of land and movable goods, and also their activities including travelling and raiding, helped form the masculine reputations of men and shaped power relations between them. By discussing the prevalent themes of the saga literature and how men could function within the constraints placed on them, it should become apparent whether masculinity was a singular attribute, or whether there were multiple ways to attain it that, while not encompassing all possible aspects of masculinity, still made a man masculine.

I'm trying to convince myself that its ok to skip my class this afternoon because I haven't done the reading, the reading is boring, the topic is boring and nothing something I really ever took interest in (colonial Africa), the class is worth less than 1%, the class will be boring, I've been to all the other classes this semester, and my back hurts and I'm getting a headache.

I'm not really convinced.

Instead, I will go home and do some reading for my class on Thursday. I need some new highlighters.

I am way too relaxed at the moment. I did very little uni work last week, and I only came to campus three times, not even for full days. I think maybe because I've written over 10,000 words I don't feel so stressed. Also, classes haven't kicked in yet - but they will soon. My reading for a seminar this week is as thick as a third of my last semester reader. Crazy shiz.

Oh, I'm procrastinating. Trying to write another chapter but too relaxed. Stupid.

I'm pretty sure Chris Weitz is my new favourite person.

He got a degree in English Literature and is now an awesome film director.

And he's funny.


 

There's going to be a New Moon panel at Comic Con tomorrow, and there were 300 people lined up for it a day and half before. In summer. Outside.

Do these people not have lives, jobs, families? Furthermore, do they have no shame?

Now, I may be a Twilight fan...I'm a fan of many things. But I'm not desperate. Even though I did mention it, I would never go set stalking on a film, or intentionally seek out an actor or musician. I am not a crazy.

Also, I don't think you realise how entrenched you are in your discipline until someone from another discipline questions one of the underlying beliefs of your own. There was a Biology student at my History and Environment lecture who questioned why historians dislike environmental determinism. We have this thing for human agency. Its basically the driving force of history for historians. I never even knew I believed this until she asked why historians reject environmental determinism.

Anyway, I'm talking shit again. Awesome.

P.S. New BSB single is totz awesome. Dig it.
 

As I am spending this Friday night alone, I have a MEGA movie marathon planned. It includes:

- Milk (took me long enough to see this, have wanted to see it for ages.)
- Rainman
- St Elmo's Fire
- The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

I think the quality of the first three should outweigh the complete crapness of the last.

 

Quite a lot of times this year I have questioned my intellectual abilities, especially compared to the people I do Honours with. They all seem to be exceptionally intelligent and just be able to spit out papers that get HD's. I am not too proud to admit that I have written very few HD papers in my uni career, most (if not all) in political science. (Yeh, so why on earth am I doing History? Don't ask me. Oh yeh, because I won't go AS insane writing 15,000 words on history as I would struggling with political theories.)

However, I just found a couple of essays from first semester of first year. OH WOW. HOW CRAP WAS I? There was hardly any references, and my bibliographies were shorter than ten sources. As for the writing...well....let's just not go there.

So, perhaps I should stop comparing myself to other people and realise how much I have improved in three years, and hit my dissertation so hard lollies come out.

Also, my music collection sounds so.....outdated and stale at the moment. Nothing I download or try to listen to seems to be helping either. I don't know what it is - a musical crisis?
 

You see, usually I wouldn't care what other people think of me, but this girl is actually really nice to me, and even though I find her slightly annoying, I felt bad today when I didn't stop and have a conversation with her when I was right next to her in the library. All I said was "Hey", as did she.

I wish I could just talk to people like normal humans do. :P

Also, I had some really fucking weird dreams last night. I never dream. Last night I had a dream everyone I knew was killed in some sort of civil war, and then this spirit-Amazonian-coloured woman (that's the best way to describe her) took me to where they all died. I think it might have something to do with me reading about John Titor (alleged time-traveller) last night.

EDIT: Oh, and apparently VPattz was "grazed" by a taxi while filming in New York yesterday, and everyone has blown it up into epic proportions. Now, I admire the guy, but I don't particularly care about when he got grazed by a cab, took a picture with a fan, or walked around with an umbrella. I wish people would leave him alone, let him do his job which he is obviously passionate about, and admire him as an actor - not idealise him as some sort of God that needs our constant attention. BACK THE FUCK UP.

I was bored so I decided it was time to read the latest edition of Pelican, UWA's student written magazine. There is a review of "Two and a Half Men" in there, and I didn't think I would ever read something that reflected my opinion of the show so well in my life.

Hopefully this isn't some copyright infringement, but my favourite part of the article says "Seriously, if this is your idea of quality programming then please, buy the new Nickelback album, hang out for the next season of Australian Idol then go and set fire to yourself. If you think this show if funny, you can fuck off, because it's not and you're a dickhead."

I really hate that show. A lot. If you don't know why....well you musn't know me very well.

This post was quite pointless but I hadn't updated in a while, so it seemed to be time to type something in this little white box.
 

Last night, while out celebrating my 21st birthday, I had the following conversation with a young gentleman.

ME: I like you hair very much.
YOUNG GENTLEMAN: Really? People tell me its very Duran Duran.
ME: Well, I like Duran Duran.

Yeh...that 'Queen' pure maple syrup and 'Camp' pure maple syrup. Available at your local Progressive Supa IGA.

I was just doing one of those Facebook quizzes, the one to find out your 'true' nationality. Apparently I'm German, but that isn't the point. One of the questions was along the line of "one of your friends tells you they have fallen in love with a monkey and wants the monkey to be involved in all future plans."

What kind of a situation is this??? None of the options involved referring your friend to a psychiatrist, sadly enough.

I don't know if anyone else does this, but whenever I get a new friend on Facebook, I go and check their profile to see what they've been up to, usually in the years since leaving high school because that's where I know most of them from.

Do you know why I do this? To compare myself with them - have I used my time more effectively? Have they done cooler things than me? What should I be doing with my life?

Then I see what most of their interests are, things like "Hangin out wiv ma friends, partying, drinking..." and I feel a lot better.

Someone should do something with graffiti on uni toilet walls....its really quite insightful. It could be the topic of a dissertation or PhD (or a website haha) in my opinion.

We shall rock out to the KILLERS tonight ladies. :D
 

RORY: Are you enjoying your breakfast?

LORELAI: I don't know if I like pop-tarts.

RORY: Did you fall on your head while you were sleeping?

LORELAI: I don't know. Do I like this? Is this something I like?

RORY: So, you fell on your head, and now you have some kind of very specific amnesia, is that it?

LORELAI: Last night I was dreading mom and dad's reaction to the breakup, right?

RORY: Right. Dread, dread. I remember.

LORELAI: And then they didn't react -- not one bit. It's almost like the absence of their reaction was worse than any freak-out they could have had.

RORY: Okay. Sure.

LORELAI: Then I thought, "why? Why do I care if they freak out? What do I get out of it?"

RORY: Uh ha.

LORELAI: And then I thought, "maybe their freak-outs" are like some kind of compass for me, you know "like, I know I'm doing what I want to do if it freaks them out." And then I thought, "what if I don't want to do "what I want to do because I want to do it, but because they don't want me to?"

RORY: Huh?

LORELAI: I mean what if I don't like what I like because I like it, but because my mother doesn't like it and doesn't want me to like it? What if I don't actually like the music that I like or the movies or the clothes or the men? What if I don't like what I seem to like?

RORY: Ah, hence the pop-tart.

LORELAI: Yes. Hence. I can remember the first time I had a pop-tart. It was at my friend Erica Catcha's house, and she said, “do you want a pop-tart?" And I knew my mother would recoil at the very idea of me having a pop-tart. I could just picture her. [Emily voice] "A pop-tart?!" [normal voice] And so, I had one. And I opened the little silver wrapper, and I took a bite, and I thought nothing had ever tasted so good. I thought it tasted like freedom. It tasted like I was my own person. The pop-tart tasted like freedom and rebellion and independence.